Posts Tagged lunch

Those Eyes, Eyes, Eyes

Posted by One Gay at a Time in Gay Dating on September 15, 2011

Since before I went away to OCMD, I was chatting with a guy on Grindr. I picked him up in my Grindr deck of cards when I was traveling home to my parents’ before heading to Maryland. He too was in PA, but home was NYC.

I struck up a conversation with him after noticing his picture and his gorgeous eyes and lips. He is a very pretty man with great features, but also had a slight thug look about him. I found it very intriguing.

After chatting, I came to realize he was a really nice guy. Quite the sweetheart. My heart really went out to him because the purpose of his visit home was the funeral of his uncle. I’d like to think I have a really big heart, and when someone is going through something like that, I want to do anything I can to console them. He appreciated my sentiments, and we continued to chat. I tried my best to cheer him up and distract him from what he was going through.

We seemed to have a fair amount in common, but I wasn’t thrilled with the fact that he was so young and still in college. He had been interning over the summer at a hedge fund, so he was looking towards the future, but I worried the age gap may get in the way. However, that didn’t stop me from continuing our conversations.

Days passed and the chatter continued. We talked many times about meeting up when we were both back in the city. The only problem was, he took a few more weeks to make his way back. He had the summer off, so he spent more time at home. Then, when his aunt was heading back to Philly, he drove her. His character was really showing here. He was a really good guy deep down who cared about other people. I find this incredibly sexy! I wanted him to come back to NY so we could go out, but I strongly admired his reason for not being back. He stayed a little while longer to help his aunt get back to her daily life before finally coming back to NYC.

Finally, we found a day we could meet. I suggested he meet me in midtown for lunch since he had an open schedule. I wanted to save my evenings for the working men since it was harder to schedule them in. Yes, I realize how messed up that statement sounds – scheduling men in. Anyway, I told him to meet me at the Soup Man at 1:00. Only problem – my job is very unpredictable. Sure enough, at 12:50, someone came by my desk for a “quick” meeting and needed me to do something for them. I apologized to him for running late, but didn’t feel the need to cancel yet.

I arrived only fifteen minutes late. We shook hands, and I nearly melted from his smile. Meeting him, I realized he was basically a kid, and this would never work, but something about his smile made me weak in the knees. Those eyes were just so enticing.

We ordered our lunch and ate it outside in the small seating area they provide. We talked about my vacation, his time at home, college, internships, etc. It was a nice conversation, but I felt like I just took one of my interns out for lunch. I knew there was no relationship potential there. When we nearly finished, he took a phone call from someone while I just sat there. I understand if it’s an important call, but it didn’t appear to be. I wouldn’t have taken the call with someone sitting there.

After I cleared our trays, I pointed in the direction of my office and asked which way he was headed. I agreed to walk him as far as my office. When we got to the curb across the street from my office, I gave him a hug goodbye and told him we’d be in touch. He eagerly suggested we meet up again soon, and I told him to text me so we could figure it out. I knew he wouldn’t text, so it was a sure way to end it without awkwardness.

Just as soon as I was adding new potential men to the roster, I was knocking them off the other end. Maybe I would need to find a new strategy, but only time will tell…

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Pillow Talk

Posted by One Gay at a Time in Gay Dating on September 9, 2011

After my first date with Pillow, I was very excited to see him again. However, I would have to wait a week. When the day finally arrived, I was very excited. I tried my best all day to get my work done to ensure a timely exit. After the debacle of picking restaurants last time, I put the burden on him to choose where we would go. We talked a few times during the day about him stressing to pick a location. We finally planned to grab dinner at Dos Caminos at 7:30.

At 7:30 on the dot, I got a text from him saying, “Hey. I need to reschedule for tonight. My sinuses are acting up, and I’m not feeling all that great. I just need to relax and hit the bed. So sorry for the late notice, but just not up for drinks or dinner tonight.” Needless to say, I was very disappointed, but also slightly annoyed. I sat around work with nothing to do for two hours. I could have gone home or made other plans. I responded with the only thing I knew to say, “Ok. Feel better!” I have to admit, I was very suspect of the last-minute cancellation. It seemed odd. If he wasn’t feeling well, I imagine he didn’t feel well all day long, not just that evening. But I didn’t want my imagination to run away since I have a habit of letting that happen. He mentioned hitting me up the following day to figure out a time to reschedule. Later that night, he suggested Friday for lunch, so I was reassured he wasn’t just blowing me off completely.

That Friday, we went to Dos Caminos for lunch. It was a very nice lunch, and we had good conversation. It wasn’t 100% fluid, but it was getting better. He had a hard shell to crack. We talked a lot more about his home and his living situation. I learned about his cat and a bit more about his relationship with his mother. It was nice getting to know him better. When we finished, I suggested we hit up the High Line as we had spoken about before. It was a gorgeous day, so he agreed it was a perfect idea, especially since he’d never been.

We made our way across town and walked to the bottom end of the High Line. He was really enjoying it, and I was enjoying watching his pleasure. We had nice casual conversation the whole length. When we go to the bottom end, we took a break in the shade against the railing. Through our conversation, there were about fifteen moments I wanted to just grab him and kiss him. Every time there was a pause, I wanted to go for it. However, there was an audience. There was never n instance when there wasn’t a crowd of people around to sneak a private moment. I think he wanted me to kiss him as well, or at least his body language suggested it. After a while, we decided to make our way north again to the other end of the High Line.

The whole walk back, I looked for a quiet corner to sneak into — No dice. I had experienced those pillow lips once before, and I wanted more. It had been too long! I was really starting to feel comfortable with him. The nerves ended and the conversation was much easier. We both really enjoyed our time up there. From start to finish the date lasted four hours. We walked the entire High Line, and it ended at Penn Station where he would grab his train home to Pennsylvania. As I said goodbye, he grabbed my hand. I pulled him in for a kiss. And then another. And then another. All short kisses, but nice ones nonetheless.

On my walk back to the PATH, I texted him, “Soooo…. I wanted to kiss you about 15 times on the High Line today. I just don’t do well with audiences…” He responded, “Had a great day!! Um, I’m with you. I’m not totally into an audience, but I was so relaxed at the end of the High Line in the Meat Packing District. I could have stayed and talked a while longer with you. ;)” It was nice to hear we were on the same page. He was a great guy who I still needed to get to know better, but a great guy nonetheless. I was looking forward to our next date and wanted to move things along a bit.

I took the liberty of inviting him to join me at my friend’s lake the following day. He told me he needed to see what he needed to get done the next day and wanted to check out Musikfest, but he would get back to me in the morning. That night, I followed up with a late night text, “I had a really great time with you today. Hope I get to see you again tomorrow. i.e. Come to the lake in the am and then head back for Musikfest in the evening.”

The next morning I went to the lake with my friends D, K and D’s girlfriend. I spent the day on the water and went waterskiing for the first time in my life. It was fun, but I was a little disappointed I never heard from Pillow. I went on with my day and tried not to let it phase me. I was unsuccessful. That night I went out with my friends, but it was very hard to have a good time…

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Lunch on Broadway

Posted by One Gay at a Time in Gay Dating on June 13, 2011

Broadway and I have been civil since our breakup. Periodically, he messages me, mainly after he reads a misconstrued or particularly positive Facebook status update. He always messages me to make sure everything is okay or to congratulate me. It’s very nice to know he still cares enough about me to reach out with concern/praise.

When he asked me to find time for the two of us to meet up, I graciously agreed. Over two months had passed. And, it had been a while since we fully caught up with each other’s lives, and I hadn’t seen him since we broke up (with the exception of his profile on adam4adam.com and Grindr). A little part of me missed him too.

I really enjoyed the lunch I had from Cosi when I met “The Wild Card” in Bryant park, so I suggested we do that. We met in front of Cosi. He warned me on the phone beforehand he injured his ankle and was wearing a boot. When he hobbled up to me, I couldn’t help but smile. It truly was good to see him. The feelings of a relationship did not come rushing back. I didn’t miss him like an ex. I missed him like a friend who moved away and I hadn’t seen in a while. We kissed each other on the lips and gave each other a hug.

I have seen so many gay men kiss their friends on the lips, especially when San Francisco came to visit, and I have always felt slightly uneasy about it. I could not put myself in that position. I have just a few gay friends, and we do not greet each other in this way. I also don’t kiss my female friends in this way when we greet each other. I don’t know if all the men I’ve seen were in previous relationships with each other, or that’s just a gay culture norm. But, it felt right to kiss Broadway on the lips. We’d done it so many times before, not doing it would feel strange.

After our hug and peck, we went in to Cosi. Broadway and I have a bit of history with Cosi. We’d eaten there many times, and he even used to work at one when he first moved to NYC from California. It felt a bit like old times, but once again, not like we were simply picking back up where we left off. We got our food, and we made our way into the park to find a table to sit and chat. I helped him get settled in since he was slightly immobilized.

He immediately started with, “So, what’s new?”

I began to tell him about work, and how things were goingin my life. I avoided discussing the dates I had gone on, as well as the fact that I was on a4a.

I asked about what was new in his life. He told me about his new roommate situation and how the dynamic between his friends deteriorated. He told me about how he was possibly pitching a pilot to the L.O.G.O. Network from one of his college courses. He told me how he injured his foot, and what that meant as far as his show was concerned. He always joked about wanting to get injured in the summer so he could live on Fire Island during his recovery. I said, “Well, you got what you always wanted!” All in all, he seemed very happy with life.

As the conversation progressed, I could tell he was pressing to see if I was dating anyone. I decided to tell him about San Francisco, especially since I was beginning to have serious doubts about any possibility of us continuing our relationship anyway. After I told him about all those doubts, I could see it in his face. He looked at me with this “get out now” look. And, it wasn’t a jealous look. It was a “just lookin’ out for ya” kind of exchange.

We both finished our sandwich/salad, and it was time for me to head back to work. My hour was up. As we began to leave the park, I realized how easygoing our lunch date was. I was slightly worried early on it might be awkward but not the case. The conversation flowed smoothly, and I don’t think anyone got their feelings hurt. It was good progress.

I expressed my pleasure with the lunch, and I suggested we do it again and more often. We obviously got along well and enjoyed each other’s company. There is no reason why we shouldn’t spend more time together. I expressed this sentiment, and he agreed happily. And, with that, we head our separate ways.

That reminds me. I think I owe him a phone call…

 

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