Posts Tagged adam4adam.com

Let the Games Begin!

The next series of posts inspired me to start this blog: It’s where the name One Gay at a Time comes from.

SunGAY morning brunch…

The foot surgeon and I connected on adam4adam.com.  He was one of the first guys I chatted with.

After exchanging messages on a4a for a some time, it was evident that we shared many common interests and values. So, we exchanged phone numbers.

Immediately the texting began. He texted me all hours of the day in heavy spurts. Instead of gathering his thoughts and sending one text, I would get 5 rapid fires in a row. I was enjoying the attention. It was great! I just broke up with Broadway a few weeks prior and Boston was in another state and less responsive to my advances than I would have hoped.

Timing with the surgeon was very tough.  He wanted to meet for dinner or drinks early on. I wanted to play the field a bit more.  I just started on a4a and was getting A LOT of responses. Many were creepy old dudes, but a lot of them were “quality leads.” For the time being, I prioritized working out and trivia with friends over dates with him. I needed to get in shape since I was now living the single life.

He intrigued me because of his profession and playful personality, but he wasn’t exactly a local. My last relationship ended because of lack of time and commitment. I wasn’t about to dive right in to something with a surgeon…

Between him going home to Illinois for a week and me traveling to San Francisco for work, we were able to finally set up a brunch date near my apartment. He arrived before me and was seated in the large dining room in the back of the restaurant. No one else was around. This made me happy because I didn’t want to be a public spectacle.

Much to my surprise, I wasn’t nervous at all. I had nothing to lose since I wasn’t all that into him; no big letdown.

About 5 minutes into the date, I realized this guy would not be a repeat offender. We had a decent conversation for an hour about our families’ dynamics over breakfast. The conversation was never forced, but there was never really any chemistry there. And, while not ugly, I was not attracted to him in the slightest. He definitely looked better in his pictures.

I decided I had enough. I asked if he wanted to get out of there. We walked back to his car (passing 2 guys holding hands — a first for me in Hoboken!). He walked right up to the driver’s door and opened it as if he was about to get in. I was happy about this because it saved me the awkward “ass-out” hug. I said thanks for meeting me and have a nice day, and I walked home.

Two blocks later, I got a text describing how nice it was to meet me.  I responded, “Likewise.” Then, he asked if we could do it again.

This is when I finally grew a pair and realized I had enough confidence for the first time in my life. I responded, “You’re a nice guy, but I just don’t think we have chemistry.”

He texted back thanking me for my honesty and wishing me good luck.

On to the next guy!

, , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Leave a comment

Leaving My Heart in San Francisco

With my new found freedom, I was hitting the town. I met a guy on adam4adam who was interested in meeting that night, so we exchanged numbers. That Friday, while out at the bar, we managed to find each other and chat a bit. After getting thoroughly inebriated, I got in a cab and went home with him. He was NOT attractive (and would later find out very poorly endowed), but I had nothing better going on. And I was drunk. We didn’t do much more than heavy petting, but when I woke up the next morning naked in his bed, I was hustled out the door. I wasn’t planning to ever call him again, so I was fine with the early wake-up call. Irony struck when walked outside and realized I was exiting my sister’s building.

That Monday, I traveled to San Francisco for work. Grindr in hand, I planned to meet a few attractive, like-minded guys. At dinner, I started searching. Nothing turned up.

The next day, when work was slow, I managed to find a cute guy. I messaged him and told him, “Hey dude. Very sexy smile.” He responded positively. We agreed to grab drinks following work. I had no idea where he was, or what he did, but, I had nothing to lose. I knew only 1 guy out there, and I couldn’t get ahold of him.

When work ended at 4:30, I sent him a message. He wasn’t done work until 8ish. I decided to go exploring. After stumbling upon Lombard Street’s winding road, I remembered the Palace of Fine Arts is in San Francisco. I googled the address. 1.9 miles away. I had nothing but time, so I began to walk.

After snapping some great shots at The Palace, I happened upon the base of the Golden Gate Bridge. It was sunset, so I took the opportunity to snap some more quality pictures.

When I started walking back to my hotel, I got a text from Mr. San Francisco. I looked at the distance, and it was cut down to feet. Apparently, I wandered into his neighborhood.

It was a little awkward when we first met. He wasn’t quite what I expected. He was a tiny little Asian man (which I would later find out to be Hawaiian), but still that great sexy smile. We walked down the street, coming across the gym he runs and his coworker outside eating his dinner.

We found a bar to settle into, and by chance, one of the girls I graduated college with happened to be there. I walked over to say hi. Since I didn’t feel like telling her I was gay on the spot, I never introduced Mr. San Francisco.

We sat at the bar and began talking. When the conversation turned to TV, we really clicked. We both watch Brothers and Sisters and really bonded over the show. He started placing his hand on my leg periodically. I found it extremely disarming and welcomed it every time. After all, this was pretty much the 2nd time I went on a date with a man.

After a few rounds of drinks, we decided to grab dinner. But, not before we took the opportunity to steal a few kisses on the street corner. Dinner was great and the night only got better as it progressed. I was having a great time! We paid the check, walked out into the street and took another opportunity to show how much we were enjoying each other’s company.

He looked at me and said, “What now?” In my head, I was thinking how easy it would be to go to my hotel room. Isn’t that what they’re for? Instead, he asked what time I had to be at work in the morning. We worked out the logistics. He asked me to come back to his place for the night, and we hopped in a cab.

When we arrived at his apartment in The Mission, he took me up to the roof. The make-out session continued. His roof had amazing views of the entire city. When he unzipped my pants and started giving me a blowjob, I was in absolute ecstasy.

We then went down to his bedroom to continue our passionate session. He was so tender and his eyes were gentle and inviting. I felt so comfortable with him. I was a stranger in a strange land, but I felt right at home.

When I woke in the morning, he made me coffee, and we snuggled on the couch watching a little TV before heading to work. I didn’t want this to end, but I had no choice. Work was beckoning.

When I arrived back at my hotel, I stood in front of my bed and laughed. It was still pristinely made. The maid must have been confused when she entered the room, questioning where I slept.

I wouldn’t get to see Mr. San Francisco again until 2 nights later. I traveled to San Jose for a meeting, but came back for one night. I arrived back at the Hilton San Francisco Union Square. I took my laptop down to the Urban Tavern to do some work, grab an appetizer and wait for Mr. San Francisco to arrive. We shared a lovely meal, some delicious desert and hurried up to my room to finish with more desert.

From the bed to the shower, we fully enjoyed one another’s company. So much, that I swapped my ticket for a later flight at quite a pricetag. When we woke in the morning, we exchanged full contact information so we could stay in touch. I was headed to the airport, but not before dropping him at work. We savored every last minute together in the car until we hat to say goodbye.

I was very solemn the remainder of the ride to the airport. I stared out the widow aimlessly, feeling empty. We continued to exchange texts the entire time, joking about turning around or coming to the gate to stop me.

It was a very short timeframe, but we clicked immediately and we clicked hard. I knew this was a bad idea, getting attached to someone an entire continent away. But, I figured I had to give it a chance. I had nothing else on the horizon. We would give it a shot and see what happens…

, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

9 Comments

Single, Sexy and Free

Want to start with a special thank you shout out to Angels of Sodom, a great blog by gay student at the University of Pittsburgh. Thanks for getting the word out to your readers to visit my blog.

Check out his blog. He has some amazing coming out stories posted there. Look for mine, coming soon…

On with the show…

For the first time in my life, I was a single gay man. I had the freedom to date or have sex with whomever I wanted. But first I needed to get back to me.

Of course this meant hitting the gym big time. Coming off the winter, I was quite out of shape. I immediately began running, swimming and lifting regularly. Within a short period of time, I got my body back to something that I could feel comfortable standing naked in a room with another human being.

But there was a big problem. How was I going to meet other gay men. I hated the gay scene, and I had 1 gay friend (who is all but married – car, apt and dog with boyfriend). With no local spot and no wingman, I was on my own. So, I turned to the internet.

Casually sitting on the couch one night, I searched to find gay dating sites. Originally, I found DList.com, but that turned up no results. After sorting through a pile of trashy hook-up sites, I came across adam4adam.com. I made an account and began to check out the guys. Within no time, I realized I would never attract anyone without an attractive profile. So, I pulled back and started writing honestly about what I was looking for and added a conservative headless picture.

Easy going guy looking for more than hookups

27, 6’2″, 195lb, Swimmer’s Build, Brown Hair, Smooth Body, White
Looking for Friendship, Relationship.  

Relatively new to gay world…  Contrary to my picture, I’m not a whore…

Love my friends & hanging out. Active lifestyle. Travel, hit up bars, play tons of sports, go the beach, etc. Basically anything that keeps me active & holds my attention.

Work in advertising in NYC & travel a bit. When not working I stay fit.

Into masculine dudes who like to stay fit, but aren’t completely obsessed w/ their body.

If I sound interesting to you, hit me up. Always up for meeting new people!

Swimming — Lifting — Volleyball — Tennis — Running — Watching TV/Movies — Amazing Cook

HIV Neg 4.12.11

After surfing the site, I noticed a trend.  Of course there were pictures of dick all over the place, but you learn to look past and ignore them. Overall, the profile pictures skewed more overtly sexual. I realized I needed to spice it up a little. Once I changed my picture to something sexier (an extended version of the picture attached to this blog) the hits started flowing in. It was a great boost to my self-esteem. I’ve never thought of myself a particularly sexy, but I was being told otherwise.

After talking to a few guys, I began building up a roster. My goal was always to move the conversation from a4a to something more permanent, i.e. a phone number or chat screen name. I started to line up dates with these guys, but got to a point where I was overwhelmed. I didn’t have enough time between staying in shape, work and life in general to schedule them in. But I was having fun. I was really enjoying dating. So much so, I’m sure my friends were so sick of hearing me talk about it.

Right in the middle of trying to juggle dates and managing to keep the conversation going with a few guys, the time came for me to go on a business trip to San Francisco. I would be there for a week and wanted to see if I could meet some guys while visiting. I heard about an app for you phone called Grindr. It locates other gay men within the vicinity of you who also use Grindr. Basically it’s gaydar.

Until then, I resisted downloading the app. But, as the cabin door was closing and my plane was pushing back from the terminal, I downloaded it. San Francisco’s gay community would be a whole lot easier to navigate when the plane touched down…

, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Leave a comment