Want to start with a special thank you shout out to Angels of Sodom, a great blog by gay student at the University of Pittsburgh. Thanks for getting the word out to your readers to visit my blog.
Check out his blog. He has some amazing coming out stories posted there. Look for mine, coming soon…
On with the show…
For the first time in my life, I was a single gay man. I had the freedom to date or have sex with whomever I wanted. But first I needed to get back to me.
Of course this meant hitting the gym big time. Coming off the winter, I was quite out of shape. I immediately began running, swimming and lifting regularly. Within a short period of time, I got my body back to something that I could feel comfortable standing naked in a room with another human being.
But there was a big problem. How was I going to meet other gay men. I hated the gay scene, and I had 1 gay friend (who is all but married – car, apt and dog with boyfriend). With no local spot and no wingman, I was on my own. So, I turned to the internet.
Casually sitting on the couch one night, I searched to find gay dating sites. Originally, I found DList.com, but that turned up no results. After sorting through a pile of trashy hook-up sites, I came across adam4adam.com. I made an account and began to check out the guys. Within no time, I realized I would never attract anyone without an attractive profile. So, I pulled back and started writing honestly about what I was looking for and added a conservative headless picture.
Easy going guy looking for more than hookups
27, 6’2″, 195lb, Swimmer’s Build, Brown Hair, Smooth Body, White
Looking for Friendship, Relationship.
Relatively new to gay world… Contrary to my picture, I’m not a whore…
Love my friends & hanging out. Active lifestyle. Travel, hit up bars, play tons of sports, go the beach, etc. Basically anything that keeps me active & holds my attention.
Work in advertising in NYC & travel a bit. When not working I stay fit.
Into masculine dudes who like to stay fit, but aren’t completely obsessed w/ their body.
If I sound interesting to you, hit me up. Always up for meeting new people!
Swimming — Lifting — Volleyball — Tennis — Running — Watching TV/Movies — Amazing Cook
HIV Neg 4.12.11
After surfing the site, I noticed a trend. Of course there were pictures of dick all over the place, but you learn to look past and ignore them. Overall, the profile pictures skewed more overtly sexual. I realized I needed to spice it up a little. Once I changed my picture to something sexier (an extended version of the picture attached to this blog) the hits started flowing in. It was a great boost to my self-esteem. I’ve never thought of myself a particularly sexy, but I was being told otherwise.
After talking to a few guys, I began building up a roster. My goal was always to move the conversation from a4a to something more permanent, i.e. a phone number or chat screen name. I started to line up dates with these guys, but got to a point where I was overwhelmed. I didn’t have enough time between staying in shape, work and life in general to schedule them in. But I was having fun. I was really enjoying dating. So much so, I’m sure my friends were so sick of hearing me talk about it.
Right in the middle of trying to juggle dates and managing to keep the conversation going with a few guys, the time came for me to go on a business trip to San Francisco. I would be there for a week and wanted to see if I could meet some guys while visiting. I heard about an app for you phone called Grindr. It locates other gay men within the vicinity of you who also use Grindr. Basically it’s gaydar.
Until then, I resisted downloading the app. But, as the cabin door was closing and my plane was pushing back from the terminal, I downloaded it. San Francisco’s gay community would be a whole lot easier to navigate when the plane touched down…