The next series of posts inspired me to start this blog: It’s where the name One Gay at a Time comes from.
SunGAY morning brunch…
The foot surgeon and I connected on adam4adam.com. He was one of the first guys I chatted with.
After exchanging messages on a4a for a some time, it was evident that we shared many common interests and values. So, we exchanged phone numbers.
Immediately the texting began. He texted me all hours of the day in heavy spurts. Instead of gathering his thoughts and sending one text, I would get 5 rapid fires in a row. I was enjoying the attention. It was great! I just broke up with Broadway a few weeks prior and Boston was in another state and less responsive to my advances than I would have hoped.
Timing with the surgeon was very tough. He wanted to meet for dinner or drinks early on. I wanted to play the field a bit more. I just started on a4a and was getting A LOT of responses. Many were creepy old dudes, but a lot of them were “quality leads.” For the time being, I prioritized working out and trivia with friends over dates with him. I needed to get in shape since I was now living the single life.
He intrigued me because of his profession and playful personality, but he wasn’t exactly a local. My last relationship ended because of lack of time and commitment. I wasn’t about to dive right in to something with a surgeon…
Between him going home to Illinois for a week and me traveling to San Francisco for work, we were able to finally set up a brunch date near my apartment. He arrived before me and was seated in the large dining room in the back of the restaurant. No one else was around. This made me happy because I didn’t want to be a public spectacle.
Much to my surprise, I wasn’t nervous at all. I had nothing to lose since I wasn’t all that into him; no big letdown.
About 5 minutes into the date, I realized this guy would not be a repeat offender. We had a decent conversation for an hour about our families’ dynamics over breakfast. The conversation was never forced, but there was never really any chemistry there. And, while not ugly, I was not attracted to him in the slightest. He definitely looked better in his pictures.
I decided I had enough. I asked if he wanted to get out of there. We walked back to his car (passing 2 guys holding hands — a first for me in Hoboken!). He walked right up to the driver’s door and opened it as if he was about to get in. I was happy about this because it saved me the awkward “ass-out” hug. I said thanks for meeting me and have a nice day, and I walked home.
Two blocks later, I got a text describing how nice it was to meet me. I responded, “Likewise.” Then, he asked if we could do it again.
This is when I finally grew a pair and realized I had enough confidence for the first time in my life. I responded, “You’re a nice guy, but I just don’t think we have chemistry.”
He texted back thanking me for my honesty and wishing me good luck.
On to the next guy!