Posts Tagged Miami

Freedom in Florida

Before ever stepping on a plane to Florida, I told the friends I would be traveling with I was giving myself a hall pass. If Broadway went to Barcelona alone, possibly with a bottle of lube, then I was going to Florida with some new found freedom.

I didn’t break up with him prior to my trip. If you recall from my previous post, he wasn’t my “boyfriend” either. I never heard the phase “I love you” pass his lips. We had been dating for almost 10 months, but I no longer had any indication this was destined for the long term.

I have never been single and gay. I met Broadway, and shortly after, I came out. I needed to give myself the freedom to date. I needed to explore and experience. Is this healthy for a relationship? Was I setting myself up to cheat on the man I was dating for the previous 10 months? Maybe. But was it something I needed to do? Yes. Yes, it was.

Before heading to South Beach, Miami, Boston and I discussed meeting up. When my friend K and I arrived, we checked into Essex House and went down to the beach. I noticed a guy who vaguely resembled Boston. I pointed him out to K, and she said, “Ooooo. Go for it! He’s hot!” But when he walked down to the water with a female companion, the chemistry between them seemed more than just friends. Their body language suggested they were dating. Furthermore, this guy was wearing what I would later come to describe as “straight shorts.”

It wasn’t until I overheard their conversation as they were leaving the beach that I realized it was him. We were texting each other from 10 feet away for over 2 hours and didn’t even realize it.

Later that evening, K and I walked over to the sister hotel for happy hour. The other 2 in our party would be arriving any minute, but we were anxious to start drinking. I texted Boston and told him that if he could find us, I would buy him a drink. He was staying at this sister hotel, The Clevelander. After spotting us, he joined in our happy hour pitchers. Over the course of the next couple of hours, I drank about 4 pitchers. I was truly cutting loose.

Before this trip, I had no plans of attempting anything with Boston. He was just a solid friend. We were going to meet up for a drink or two, but after K made the comment on the beach, the possibility of more was planted in my head.

When my 2 other friends arrived, we discussed dinner plans at The Royal at The Raleigh and extended an invitation to Boston and his friend.

At dinner, I made a bit of a fool of myself. I had quite a bit to drink. When we finished eating, we walked back to the Clevelander for a night cap.

At the bar, I bought a round of beers. Boston tapped the top of my bottle to make it overflow. The only problem was I didn’t have a strong grip on my beer and it shattered on the floor. Minutes later, I retaliated, only to have the same thing repeat again.

After a short while, Boston’s friend went off to bed, shortly followed by my 3 friends. Boston and I were still sitting at the bar chatting when some guy came along interrupting us talking about real estate. Boston turned to me and told me to get rid of him. This was a window of opportunity. I was drunk and Boston is hot. I started getting a bit physical with him, rubbing his leg and petting his neck so the guy would leave. Finally, he got the hint and took off.

After my third trip to the bathroom, I asked him if he wanted to go for a walk. We strolled along the beach and found a comfortable spot to chat. We talked about careers and futures for some time before the authorities chased us. We moved our discussion to a wall at the edge of the sand. At one point, we were both just awkwardly staring at the ocean when I turned and kissed him. He immediately responded, and we proceeded to make out for what could have been a half hour. People passed by making cat calls, but we continued as if no one was there.

Things started to get hot. My hands were up his shirt feeling the chest I admired on the beach earlier that day. Finally, I put my hands down his pants and felt how much he was enjoying it. And he did the same. Me being 6’2″ and him being no taller than 5’6″, I picked him up and leaned back against the wall so I didn’t have to hunch over anymore. I was really enjoying myself. He was a great kisser and the wandering hands on both parties was rather pleasing. At one point, he pulled back and said, “But you have a boyfriend.” This didn’t stop me from going back in. Between kisses, I was able to utter, “He’s not my boyfriend, remember?” He was torn about the issue. He was obviously enjoying himself, but he didn’t want to get in the middle of a relationship.

After a while, I asked if he wanted to go somewhere more private. He pointed out we were both sharing rooms. I noticed the uneasiness on his face. I responded back, “I’m not trying to have sex with you. I’m not that easy. I just don’t want to stand here making out in public…” At this point, I could see his level of comfortability dropped significantly, so we went back to our separate rooms. I sent him a text explaining my enjoyment and my respect for him.

Stay tuned. The remainder of the trip will have to wait ’til Monday’s post.

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Broadway Goes to Barcelona

Broadway is a huge fan of Kylie Minogue. In fact, that’s an understatement.  Shortly after we started seeing each other he reintroduced me to her when he gave me her latest album. While a fan of a few of her songs, I would never venture to one of her concerts.

However, Broadway bought a ticket to see her in concert in Barcelona, Spain. Yes, Barcelona for a concert. He told me about this trip months in advace, but the closer to his departure, the odder I found this excursion. On top of that, we were drifting apart over the weeks leading up to this trip.

Over President’s Day weekend, we ventured to Rhinebeck, NY to stay at the Belvedere Mansion bed and breakfast. We needed to get away from the city bustle. But, for the first time in our relationship, we started getting snippy towards each other. While driving there, we argued about dinner plans. At dinner we didn’t talk much. It was almost awkward. The next day we went for lunch at Gigi Trattoria (amazing pizzas btw). He spent the entire meal taking pictures of me and other things in the restaurant and playing on his iPhone.

When we got back to the room that night, we opened the champagne and strawberries I brought in an attempt to be romantic. I was ill shortly before this trip and wasn’t quite over it, so I was having a hard time feeling romantic. We had our fill and went to bed, arguing about the sheets being tucked or untucked. He made no advances that night. I would have been a sport and tried to ignore my ailment, but the effort wasn’t necessary.

Looking back, I think that night is when I knew it was ending.

The clear sign came in mid-March while he was in Barcelona. The day he was flying out, we spent the morning together. While shopping at Bed Bath & Beyond, he purchased 2 small bottles of lube. We had used this during sex, but I found it strange he would be buying 2 the day before heading to another country… alone.

Before he left, I barely got a kiss from him. We chatted at lunch about the difficulty we would have being an ocean away but knew we would figure it out. And we said goodbye.

When I didn’t get a call from him before he took off, red flags started popping up in my head. I started talking to Boston online about my issues. He pointed out that I was raising a lot more red flags than mere coincidence. But when I received the following message on Facebook, I was livid:

hello
hello from barcelona, i finally have internet in the apartment. The concert last night was amazing, besides the fact that I had to wait in the cold rain for two hours before. I haven’t spoken a word today and I feel like I might go crazy, but I like it. Went to the park and am now drinking some wine. It’s almost 11, which means the city is about to come alive and I’m going to go to dinner. I don’t know how i feel about barcelona yet but i’m giving it a chance. hope you are well, leave me a message or something. 
– B

The following is our exchange on Facebook:

— Got your message yesterday. Have to say I was a little disappointed. Felt a bit like a mass message… Especially after not hearing from you since I said goodbye on the street Friday afternoon. (This was on Monday) I don’t doubt it’s tough without a phone. But I was also surprised not to get a call/text from the airport before taking off.

— I don’t know what to say

— Just think it’s a little odd when you’ve been dating someone for almost 10 months not to reach out before you’re about to leave the country for a week by yourself… and then when you finally do 2 days later, it’s just a rundown of what you’ve been doing followed by, “hope you are well.” Not sure if im being melodramatic, but i’m a little hurt to be honest… The content of your message was sterile.

— Yes I understand and maybe Facebook wasn’t the best way to contact you, but I wanted to let you know I was alright. I didn’t mean for it to be, but now that i look at it again you are right. I don’t know what else to say here…

We talked some more, I was very hurt and upset. It wasn’t that he messaged me on Facebook. It was what the message said. We were dating for almost 10 months, and it appeared that meant nothing to him.

I didn’t decide to break up with him immediately following our exchange. I wasn’t about to break up with someone across an ocean, especially when he was traveling alone. It just didn’t seem fair. But we certainly needed to have a discussion upon his return.

The only problem was, the week following Barcelona I was headed to Miami and the Florida Keys for almost a week. The discussion would have to wait…

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Finding a Friend in the Oddest of Places

The whole time I was dating Broadway, I was still cruising Manroulette. Many consider this cheating, but I don’t. We all have needs and urges. I was simply taking care of that. Call it cheating. Call it selfish. Call it what you will. But it worked for me. I was always present in the moment when I was with Broadway, but there were also many nights spent alone while he worked late.

I wasn’t going on there purely to get off either. I had one gay friend at this point. He was in a serious relationship, living with his boyfriend after coming out just two years before. I didn’t think we could relate on a lot of my issues/questions.

One October night on there, I came across a guy, Boston, who had a great smile. I immediately stopped “nexting” and tried very hard to engage him so he wouldn’t “next” me. We started off exchanging stats and location, but then dove deep into conversation.

It was very refreshing to have an intelligent conversation with someone on Manroulette. We never shared anything sexual/vulgar. We just talked about dating, coming out, jobs, school, etc. We really hit it off, and when the time came for me to go to bed, I asked how we could keep the conversation going. We exchanged email addresses since he didn’t have a Skype account at the time.

We kept in touch loosely over email before we moved the conversation to AIM. Shortly thereafter, we lost touch. Not sure what happened, but we didn’t really talk for about 3 months. Until I got a surprise email:

“Hey brah, how ya been? Just randomly checked my email and realized I haven’t talked to you in a while so just checkin’ in. Hit me up. I have a Skype now!” 

We would video chat on Skype, telling him all my happy stories and all my sad stories. Although he is five years younger than me, he was already much wiser than me in the “gay arts.” He came out a few years earlier and helped me understand what I was going through. He is a excellent listener and gives very sound advice. He listened to me complain about my parents not opening up to my homosexuality and just told me to be patient. He went through the same thing just a few years earlier.

When things started to get a bit rocky for Broadway and I, he was really there for me. I was always willing to give Broadway the benefit of the doubt, but Boston told me when he thought I was being foolish. He pointed out when I should stop ignoring the signs. All this time, he never told me what to do, much like a therapist. He just helped me find the conclusions myself.

At some point we started talking about spring travel. Both of us were headed to South Beach, Miami, and our trips overlapped.

At this point, I said, “I hope I’m not being too forward, but would you want to grab a drink while we’re down there?” To which he replied, “Of course. Sure!”

We exchanged numbers, and when the trip was upon us, I suggested we figure out now where we could meet before we got down there. I gave him the address of my hotel.

Turned out we were staying at the same hotel, so it couldn’t have been easier. The rest of the trip is another story…

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