Posts Tagged unconventional
Wednesday afternoon, I went from having no dates to having two. I managed to schedule seeing two guys in the span of a few hours. I was being efficient at my “job.”
On my way home from a purely average date in Hell’s Kitchen, I once again checked Grindr for messages. The guy who I spoke to that morning happened to be on. We chatted a bit, but again, that’s another story for another day.
I already lined up a date with the guy I’ve been talking to for about a month. We texted a few times about meeting up but nothing ever materialized. I Facebook stalked him and found him very curious. He was VERY athletic, which I liked a lot, but we didn’t share a lot of the same athletic interests. He’s into skiing and cycling. I am not. It seemed we would get along, but I just wasn’t quite sure about him. The night could go either way.
He agreed to come over and share a bottle of wine. It was a little unconventional, but it was getting a bit late for a coffee shop, and this was a much easier solution. He was fully onboard.
He drove over and found parking rather quickly, which is a miracle in Hoboken. When he arrived, I buzzed him in and greeted him at the door with a hug. We went into the kitchen and sat at the counter to chat a bit. While we talked, I opened a bottle of wine, opened a box of wheat thins and cut up some cheese.
The conversation began with my neighbors. He used to live with one of the gay men my roommate and I spotted across the street in another apartment. I detailed for him how we watch them periodically since they’ve peaked our curiosity. I told him about the St. Patty’s party he missed and how we tried to get their attention.
Then we started talking about work. I learned he pretty much did exactly what Smiles did. It was that moment I noticed how he somewhat resembled Smiles in stature and look. He too had a shaved head. On top of that, there was the commonality of the excessive training and triathlons. It didn’t bother me because there were distinct differences, but it caught my attention. They were similar in job, lifestyle, legal problems, look, hobbies, etc. It was uncanny.
Through our conversation I immediately noticed his sense of humor. He seemed like a really great guy. I was consistently laughing with him about things, and we were hitting it off pretty swimmingly. I loved his sense of humor. We got each other pretty well.
When my roommate came home, he jumped right in with her, chatting her up while she navigated the kitchen. I found this very attractive. He could start a conversation with someone on the fly well. It was kind of a turn on.
After a long awkward pause, we both went in for a kiss. I liked that I wasn’t kissing him. We were kissing each other. We both came to the same thought at the same time. We kissed passionately on my bar stools for some time before we stopped. He said, “We should have done that sooner.” I agreed through my smile. With that, we continued kissing each other. He was a decent kisser. I wished he was better because I was really enjoying his company. I just wished I could teach him to open his mouth more when he kissed. We kept kissing for a long time before it was finally time for him to go home. I kissed him goodbye and said goodnight. After he left, he gave me his phone number. Apparently, the number I’d been given was his “office” line through Google. I told him I had a really great time and apologized for keeping him past his curfew. He responded, “Me too. Looking forward to getting to know you.” I responded, “Likewise. Still smiling.” He told me he was as well, until his class in five hours. “Goodnight handsome,” he added.
In the morning, he was up early for spin class. I texted him when I woke to see if he made it through spin class. Not only that, he made it to yoga as well. We texted back and forth and discussed when we’d see each other again. We made tentative plans for the following week. Finally, I met someone who got my blood flowing — Someone who got me excited!Follow @onegayatatime
In a strike of luck, in terms of my desire to turn my dating/sex life around, the timing of a family trip could not have been better planned. My parents, my sister and I were heading to Virginia to visit my aunt, uncle and cousins. The purpose of the trip was to see the cherry blossoms in Washington DC.
It was a fun trip. I got to see my cousins’ girlfriends and their children, many of which for the first time. Even though the cherry blossoms had already fallen due to an early bloom, it was still nice to get away and relax.
While driving back to New Jersey with my sister, I began attempting to line up dates with all the guys I’d been talking to before I left. As far as going on dates, the trip came at a bad time because it put a roadblock in the momentum. I kept up with the texts from the southern boy I’d gone on one date with so far. We were trying to line up a second date, as well as a few first dates with some other men I’d chatted with.
I got back to town on a Monday afternoon and tried to dive right into the dating. One of the guys I’d been chatting with was a doctor I met on Grindr. We exchanged pictures. He was very good-looking, very well-spoken and very charming. His response to my picture was, “Matthew McConaughey party of one?!” I was incredibly flattered, and suggested he consult with an optometrist friend. Although he had some promise, I wasn’t all that excited to meet him. I was going in with an open mind, but the fact that he was a doctor was somewhat of a turnoff. He would have no time for me, and I have come to realize I need someone who will be around and spend time with me.
We texted back and forth to nail down plans. As the workday was ending, I asked him what he wanted to do. He responded, telling me, “I honestly feel like I need a quiet night in. A bit drained here but would definitely like to have you over for drinks and conversation if you are up for that?” It was a bit unconventional, but I told him I was game. He gave me his address, and we set a time at 9:00pm.
I made my way into the city, bottle of red wine in hand, and walked to his apartment. I called Boston, and he shocked me by picking up. I wanted to hear how his birthday went and catch up. He further shocked me with a story involving an on-duty officer and himself that made me so proud. It was nice to hear Boston letting loose.
As I walked up to his apartment, I hung up with Boston. He lived in a very nice building. He answered the door, and we exchanged hugs. He had a gorgeous place. I came in and made myself comfortable on the couch while he opened the bottle. I felt quite overdressed when I noticed him in sweatpants and a t-shirt. I was jealous. I removed my shoes and sat Indian-style on the couch.
He was far more attractive than his pictures. His tight t-shirt showed off his chiseled body, and his face and smile looked very similar to Taye Diggs. I was slightly mesmerized.
It wasn’t long after we began talking that he let his guard down. The flamboyance came bubbling up, and it was really turning me off. I immediately lost my attraction for him. I could see us being friends, but I could never date someone like that.
We sat on opposite ends the couch talking the whole time. I learned about his job and what he does in his free time (which wasn’t much since he didn’t have much of it). He told me his specialty, and that dominated a majority of the conversation from then on out. Ironically, his specialty was relevant to me, and we got on the topic of safe sex and HIV for over and hour. It was incredibly educational on two levels. I learned a few things about HIV transmission and the disease itself, and I learned how little I know about the stuff I was so cavalier about days prior. I thoroughly enjoyed our talk, but I wasn’t attracted to him as a potential man to date. I would, however, love to keep him around as a friend.
It was late, and I needed to go home. He needed to go to bed. He walked me to the door, and I said goodbye with a kiss. He pulled back and made a comment on how he wished he’d only done that sooner. He really liked it and came back in for more. He was a good kisser too. I walked to the PATH and then walked home, and it took me a while to get there.
The next morning I noticed a text from the doc. “Off to sleep here, but just wanted to say thanks for an awesome date! I really had a great time meeting you.” I apologized for my lack of response and told him I was at the allergist to getting poked with various things to find my allergies. We exchanged small talk on the subject, and the conversation fizzled out. That was the last I’ve heard from the good doctor…Follow @onegayatatime