Posts Tagged dinner
Chelsea Early
Posted by One Gay at a Time in Gay Dating on April 26, 2012
Saturday morning I woke up at a decent hour. It wasn’t easy sleeping with Chelsea. He thrashed constantly.
We quietly chatted for a few minutes lying face-to-face before I told him to go back to sleep while I made breakfast. I whipped up some of my famous homemade pork and apple sausage, scrambled eggs and sliced up an avocado. I brewed him coffee and went back into my room to rouse him. I slowly slid into bed and nuzzled with him to gently wake him. He was really cute, and I enjoyed doting on him a little.
When I finally woke him, we embraced and flirted a bit. I was feeling a bit randy and naughty, and I was trying to get a little frisky with him — Nothing serious… just a little heavy petting. He was quietly protesting, but he was enjoying it. When I finally managed to sneak his briefs down to his knees, he gave in. It was better than I expected. We had a little fun, but again, nothing serious — Just a lot of groping. I didn’t want to make him uncomfortable. After a bit, I made my way to the kitchen, and he joined me. He was very grateful for the breakfast spread and raved about how good it was.
After we finished eating, we moved to the couch to relax in front of the TV. My female roommate woke up and came into the living room. I introduced her to Chelsea, and they hit it off immediately. We had our laptops out, and we were playing on Facebook. My roommate was telling him all about her dating life, and Chelsea was trying to think of guys he could set her up with. I became a non-participant observer at this point while the two of them had girl talk. She apologized for monopolizing our time, but I didn’t really mind. It was nice to see him interacting with her. I always put prospective men through a litmus test. They must meet my friends and get along with them before I will fully accept them.
The time came for him to head back into the city. He needed to do a bunch of things before he started his new position in Connecticut. He was also looking to find a sublet for his apartment while he was traveling for work Monday through Thursday. I told him I’d talk to my friends about renting it out, but I wasn’t thrilled he was about to start a job that would have him traveling far away. This would most likely mean I wouldn’t see very much of him. He would only be around on the weekends. If I went away for the weekend, I wouldn’t see him for a long time. It was a tough obstacle I could see in the near future.
When he got back to the city, he texted me about his conversation with his friend. He was talking about where he was the previous night, and the friend asked him how we met. He was embarrassed we met on Grindr and lied. I texted him back telling him he need not lie in the future. He should simply tell people we met through a mutual friend. He also realized he forgot his toothbrush. We made plans to go out again on Tuesday, and I told him I could either bring it to him, or he could leave it at my apartment until the next time he spent the night. I was being slightly presumptuous, but he decided to leave it at my place.
That night, I went to one of my best friend (and avid blog reader), J’s surprise birthday parties hosted by his fiancée (another avid blog reader). It was still March and still cold outside, but there was no way I was taking the train out to where he lived. Every time I took the train there, I ended up sitting at the train station for roughly and hour or so, and then spent over an hour on the moving train. He lived a 40 minute drive away, so I decided if I bundled up, I could brave the cold and ride the motorcycle out there. Boy was I way off.
I froze my a$$ off. I was incredibly cold the entire ride. I couldn’t wait for it to be over, but my friend, J is well worth it. I also got to hang out with one of my other college teammates who just moved back from California. I hadn’t seen him since I went out there for a trip with friends and met up with him for an afternoon.
J was so surprised to see both myself and our other teammate. He didn’t even know he came back from CA. I was thrilled to see him so happy and glad I made it out there to witness it. When everyone was packing up to head home or off to the bowling alley for some more fun, I decided to split. It was already nearly midnight, and it was only getting colder. I said goodbye and sped off for home trying to avoid hypothermia in the process.
When I got home, my roommate and I chatted about how much she loved Chelsea. She thought he was a good fit for me and thought he was a really great guy. It was nice to hear her glowing review. I had nothing but positive reviews as well, but only time would tell if this was meant for the long haul.
Follow @onegayatatimeChelsea Comes to Hoboken
Posted by One Gay at a Time in Gay Dating on April 25, 2012
My Friday off was certainly an eventful one. I spent the better portion of the afternoon planning and participating in my first real threesome. I was already starting to judge myself and question all my recent behavior. A large part of me knew this was not who I was. I was completely acting out, but another part of me realized these were my gay “formidable years.” I never hooked up with guys in college while all my male friends were taking girls home from the bar. This was my wild time. Basically, I was giving myself license to have emotionless sex for sport.
That being said, I was still searching for the guy who would get me off Grindr and be the reason to settle down. I’d already gone on one good date with Chelsea. He asked what my plans were for the evening. I told him I had none since I had the day off, and he asked if we could do something together. I didn’t feel like doing anything crazy or going out, so I requested a lazy night in and suggested he come to my place. “Cuddle night?” he replied. “Definitely,” I said.
I still felt a little disgusted with myself for my afternoon behavior, but I also hoped maybe he could help distract me. He would certainly be something to get my mind off it. I took all my sheets off my bed and threw them in the washing machine. I hopped in the shower once again. I needed a cleanse.
I texted him back and told him I would make us dinner, and we could watch a movie. He agreed that sounded like a great idea, but he told me he’d already eaten. I made myself something quick before he came over.
“Do I have to come back to NYC late by myself?” he added. I told him he could certainly spend the night. In fact, I would very much enjoy that. He tried to convince me to come into the city, but I wasn’t about to budge. I’d already done one date in his neighborhood. I didn’t want to go into the city that evening since I wasn’t already there for work. He painted a better picture of what I was asking him to do: “Mind you, I don’t even go see my friends in Brooklyn. So this better be scoring me some hefty points! Haha! LMAO. You can ask my friends how much of a NYC snob I am. I’m like who? What? Why? Do I need a passport? And does Jet Blue fly there?” I quickly responded, “This isn’t my first rodeo. You’re not the first guy I’ve stolen out of the city.” Every guy I’ve convinced to come over to Hoboken has fallen in love with it and become an advocate. I am slowly introducing the NYC gay community to the great city of Hoboken one gay at a time 
.
He agreed to stay over, as long as we agreed to behave. I told him I had no problem with that, and I appreciated him wanting to take things slow. I was very surprised by this, considering we met on Grindr, and I learned he’d done the hookup thing more than a handful of times.
When he arrived, I got him some comfortable clothes to wear, and we settled in on the couch with a few refreshments. We went through the guide trying to find a movie to watch. Finally, we settled on Drive, with Ryan Gosling. We laid on the couch with him in my arms the entire film. It was nice to snuggle with a man. It was very romantic. We both thoroughly enjoyed the movie, and when it was over, it was decently late. We decided to head to bed.
I found it adorable he didn’t take his shorts and shirt off when we went to bed. I don’t exactly sleep naked, but I have a hard time sleeping with clothes on. I find them restricting. I stripped down to my boxer briefs and encouraged (playfully removed the shorts I lent him) him to get comfortable before spooning with him a little. He warned me about getting too fresh, but I told him to relax. “I’m just trying to cuddle, not rape you. Stop fussing,” I jokingly stated. He did relax, and we got into a comfortable spooning position before finally dozing off for the night.
That night, neither of us slept very well. He was a thrasher and constantly woke up. I didn’t mind too much because I didn’t have anything to do the next day but lounge around. It was nice change to be sharing my bed with such a sweet guy. This had potential, and we certainly weren’t rushing things…
Follow @onegayatatimeMeeting Chelsea
Posted by One Gay at a Time in Gay Dating on April 19, 2012
It was another day at work and another day on Grindr. I was back to work after my relaxing and fun day off. It’s not easy jumping right back in the grind after a four-day weekend, but I still have to pay the bills.
I decided to pull up Grindr when I went to the gym on my lunch break. I started talking to a few guys, but I was more enamored with some of the hotties live in front of me picking up heavy things. They were very motivating in an “I could look like that” kind of way. Every once in a while I checked to see who messaged.
One of the guys who responded to my message was absolutely jacked. I knew messaging him was a shot in the dark. I never expected a response from him. We chatted a bit before he asked for my picture. I wasn’t able to send it through, so I asked for his cell phone number. I sent him the picture, and he blocked me on Grindr. I was very disappointed, because in the little time we chatted, he seemed like a really nice guy. I texted him and asked if he blocked me. He apologized and said I wasn’t his type. He explained he was really just looking for steroids. I told him I couldn’t help him there. “They are illegal in my country,” he added. I told him they are illegal here as well. This was news to him. I told him if he was looking for them, his best bet was at the gyms.
We chatted a bit more, and I told him he seemed like a really nice guy. He returned the compliment. Since I wasn’t really able to help him with what he needed, and that was really all he was looking for, the conversation ended.
That night, I went home alone. I was okay with that. I’d been having more than my fair share of sex lately. In the meantime there was another man I met on Grindr. This one seemed like a really good guy. We hit it off almost immediately, and a strong connection grew between us. We were both there for the right reasons. Ideally, we each really wanted a boyfriend. We both had our transgressions in the past on Grindr. Part of me was leery about that. Another part of me was quite happy. It meant he wasn’t a wet noodle, like many of the guys from OKCupid.
We made plans to go out Wednesday night after work. When I had finished work I walked his apartment. We didn’t have real concrete plans, but we were going to go out for a drink. He apologized because he was still doing laundry, and he invited me inside until he finished. It would only be a few minutes. He greeted me at the lobby, and we went up to his apartment with a pit stop in the laundry room to pick up his clothes. I was pleasantly surprised how nice is one-bedroom apartment was. I knew he had a good job but I didn’t know it was that good.
Since we didn’t have a game plan, I defaulted to him. We were in his neighborhood after all. We agreed on Mexican and margaritas. Salsa Y Salsa was nearby, and he knew some of the wait staff, so we headed there.
We had a cute table in the middle of the restaurant. It was very crowded for a weeknight. We chatted a bit before deciding on the flavor of margaritas we wanted. It was nice conversation. We got along swimmingly. He was a little flamboyant, but no more than I imagine I really am. It was nice because there were no awkward pauses. We both very much enjoyed our drinks and our meals. We decided to order a few things to share as appetizers and then shared a few bites of our meal choices with each other. It was romantic and comfortable. The more he drank, the more flirty he became. I didn’t have a problem with this, but it was interesting to watch the slow transformation. We had ordered quite a few rounds of drinks before we were both stuffed and ready to head out.
Early in the night he told me he may be having a few people over to watch the premier of Happily Divorced. He wanted to make sure he got home before it aired. He also invited me to join.
When we got the bill, I was shocked to learn we were each only charged for one drink. Chelsea was friends with the Brazilian waiter who served us. Over dinner, I came to learn he had quite a few Brazilian friends. Of course, we left him a very generous tip.
When we got outside, there was an awkward moment of “now what?” I offered to walk him home since we weren’t far from the PATH. When we got to his apartment building, a girl was standing outside smoking. We chatted with her for a few minutes before she went back inside. He paused awkwardly for a minute before finally asking me up to his apartment. His plan of having friends over for the premier went by the wayside.
He was excited for Happily Divorced, so we sat on the couch watching the episode. I decided to hang out for one episode before making my way home. A short bit into the show, I put my arm around him, and he nuzzled in the crook of my arm. It was nice cuddling with him. When a commercial finally came, we kissed — Slow at first, but then passionately. He was a good kisser. I appreciated his skills. When the show ended, we began making out a bit. He pulled me to the bed, and we spooned a bit. He already laid down the ground-rules that there would be no sex until the appropriate time. I was happy with this. He invited me to stay the night, but I graciously declined. I needed to go home before work the next day, and I liked taking things a little slower than I had in the past.
With that, he kiddingly kicked me out so he could go to bed before a crazy workday the following day. I decided to head over to my office three blocks away and take a car home.
It was a good night, and I thoroughly enjoyed myself. I was looking forward to seeing him again and the possibilities the future may hold.
Follow @onegayatatimeWinding Down
Posted by One Gay at a Time in Gay Dating on April 17, 2012
Although things didn’t exactly end the way I would have hoped, I had a really great time with my new uptown Grindr friend. He was a very down-to-earth, sexy man whose body I found irresistible.
I made my way home on my motorcycle only to find my apartment full of my friends and my roommates’ friends. They apparently noticed my Irish exit, but I was shocked to find none of them texted me to find out where I’d gone. They didn’t seem to care much. They were all drunk and about to smoke.
I put my helmet in my room and joined in the fun. D pulled me aside and asked if I’d gone to hook up, and I didn’t lie. I nodded my head in agreement, and he said, “I knew it!” with a smile.
My roommate immediately mentioned breaking my glass planter that sits in the window, but failed to apologize for the act. She simply pushed it into a pile, plants and all, and left it there on the floor. After sitting in the room a solid ten minutes, my friend K announces, “Where’s [One Gay At A Time]?” I responded, “Really K! How many have you had!?” We all laughed.
The previous night, I talked to a guy on OKCupid who was quite an athlete. He seemed like a really fun guy, and I was anxious to meet him. We’d emailed a few times back and forth, and I learned he would be coming to Hoboken for the festivities in the evening. Ironically enough, he would be in the apartment across the street. The same apartment my roommate and I scoped out on numerous occasions, noticing a gay couple lives there. I texted him to see if he was there, but he told me he decided to stay home after not feeling well.
This, of course turned my attention to the apartment across the way. My roommate and I had scoped out this apartment many times starting on New Year’s Eve when we presumed two mo’s lived there. This night, they were having a party. We noticed many men, and we tried to make a sign with a sharpie and the inside of a paper bag. It was no use. Anyone’s attention that was looking out the window was drawn to our neighbors upstairs. They too were having a raucous party.
I decided to use technology to find a way to make friends with the mo’s across the street. I pulled up Grindr and tried to find anyone very close. When I finally got in touch with someone nearby and asked him if they were at that address, I came to learn that person had left the party already. I made many more futile attempts to reach out to the party. A few of us watched with curiosity when people moved into the bedroom, but nothing exciting happened. Our front window became a version of “Rear Window.”
When I grew tired of my new entertainment, I made my way to bed. It was a long day, but a fun day. I was beat.
The next day, I returned the favor of a friend for helping me move. I rode my motorcycle over to his new apartment and dug in moving bags and boxes. When we drove to his old place, I realized we were in the same neighborhood as Indiana Jones lived. I pulled out my phone and texted him to see if he was around. It’d been months since I last saw him, and I was anxious to see him again. We were due for a catch-up. I didn’t hear back from him that day, but I wouldn’t give up at that.
Follow @onegayatatimeStood Up Twice But Third Time’s a Charm
Posted by One Gay at a Time in Gay Dating on April 13, 2012
So much for getting things out of my system while in California. I was supposed to find myself while I was out there. I was supposed to calm down with the hookups. If anything, it had a converse reaction. Maybe it jump-started my libido. Since I arrived home, I had one meaningless one-night stand/hookup, and hooked up with a guy I could possibly considering seeing again. What was I, in college?
Wednesday at work, I was back to my old habits. I was all over Grindr searching for guys to go on dates with. The problem was none of them were looking for dates, so I decided to fill the time between dates with more hookups.
I hit up one of the guys in my favorite list, but he was really just interested in sex. We tried to make plans to meet up, but were having a hard time finding a location. He proposed an adult video store booth, but as you can imagine, I wasn’t onboard. He also wanted to go bareback, but I’d learned my lesson with that. No more taking those kinds of chances. When I tried to make more realistic plans, he flaked.
I started talking to one guy who was really hot. He wanted to hookup badly, but he needed time. He needed to prepare, which I can heavily respect, but he was also visiting. He needed to go out and get supplies to perform said preparation and needed to find poppers. It was pushing 6:00, and I wasn’t going to hang around the city any longer. He ended bailing on me, so I made my way home alone.
Two guys flaked on me; however, talking to them got me riled up. My libido was hungry. When did I become such a horn ball. After 25 years of basically no sex, you think I’d be fine going home with just my right hand.
I had an ace in the hole though. I texted the Middle Eastern guy from the pervious night and asked if he wanted to come over again. I don’t think I lifted my finger off the send button before I got a response back. He was certainly interested, but had to come over later after class. He wouldn’t arrive until around 10. That was fine. I figured out other things to do with my time, like eat dinner.
When he arrived, we went straight to my room, but I’m sure, much to your surprise, we didn’t immediately jump in the sack. We kissed for a bit, but then we simply laid next to each other cuddling while we watched Modern Family. We are both big fans!
Every time there was a commercial, he took the opportunity to kiss me passionately. There were no complaints from me. He was a great kisser. He had perfect lips and knew what he was doing. We also took the time to chat a bit. I wanted to get to know him a little. He lived with a bunch of guys in an apartment and even shared a room with a guy. None of them knew he was gay, and he recently broke up with a girl. He told me he’d been on a handful of Grindr meet-ups, but none were anything like what we shared. He told me how much he enjoyed the previous night and how much he thought about me all day long. It was very flattering, and a little alarming. This kid was falling for me — and fast. I needed to make sure things didn’t get out of control because I didn’t want to hurt him.
I couldn’t tell him what I was looking for because I didn’t know what I was looking for. I really wanted to find a boyfriend, but I wasn’t sure he fit the bill. This was new territory. I’d never dated anyone so much younger than me, let alone still in college. He was a really nice guy, and I could tell his friends loved him, but I was still conflicted. He was very mature, but nonetheless, he was still in school.
When the show was over, the making out led to heavy petting. Things escalated, and I invited him to spend the night. While naked, he walked to the bathroom to take out his contacts. I watched him from the bed, staring longingly at his body. I told him how hot I thought he was. He really riled me up. I loved the innocent confidence he exuded. It was incredibly sexy.
He told me he wanted to go to bed horny so we could wake in the morning and have some real fun. It was late, and I was tired, so I didn’t oppose. With that, he rolled into little spoon position, and I pressed my naked body against his in big spoon position. It felt so comfortable. It felt so right.
In the morning we both woke to the sound of my alarm — strategically set early to allow for time to play. We were both in a very frisky and playful mood. He certainly wasn’t shy about kissing. He loved it and did it often.
Warning: The following may be too graphic for some. While we embraced each other, he whispered in my ear how he wanted to ride me. I certainly was in no position to deny him this privilege. I was looking forward to it. I was shocked, him being so new, how much he was gung-ho about bottoming. I think he discovered he’s really a bottom. He hopped on, and it felt great. He came really close to finishing, but never did. I knew exactly what was happening, so I didn’t put any pressure on him or comment on it. That would only bring it to top of mind and make it worse.
He had to stop. He wanted to keep going, but told me he was sore. He informed me that I was a big guy. I’d never really thought of myself as big. I always thought of myself as average. But, as of late, I was informed otherwise. (This is not something that is important to me, but it is quite the ego boost to hear).
We laid next to each other once again pleasuring ourselves while he laid in the crook of my arm. I finished after a few minutes. I was happy things were turning around for me. It wasn’t taking a long time for me anymore. I was far from a one-minute man, but my mental block was easing. This wasn’t the case for Middle Eastern (will be called M.E. from now on). He never finished, but also never complained. He noted, “I can never [finish] after you’re inside me. I can’t explain it. It feels amazing, like a full body orgasm, but I just never shoot.” I knew exactly what he meant. I told him it’s just part of sex sometimes. I wanted to ease his mind.
With that, we both hopped in the shower, and I took the opportunity to wash him from head to toe with a bar of soap and my hands. It was really sexy and slightly romantic. We both enjoyed it. Then he did the same to me. It felt great!
While I get ready in front of the mirror, he noted its existence. He complimented me on what I was wearing to work. He really was charming and sexy. I was really starting to like this kid. I just worried we wouldn’t be able to have a real relationship. He was in the closet and in college. He told me he wasn’t hiding it anymore, but he was advertising it. I understood, but I just wasn’t sure if it was for me
Follow @onegayatatimeDisappointment
Posted by One Gay at a Time in Gay Dating on April 10, 2012
The idea that I was in LA for work completely faded from my mind, as did the trysts I’d met since my arrival. After meeting The Navigator, I was on cloud 9 since we hung out on the beach. He was an amazing guy, and I knew if we lived in the same city, we’d be dating.
Before going to bed, we exchanged a few messages around 2:00am. “Hiya handsome. Sorry for texting you so late. Just wanted to say hello,” he texted. I texted back, “Miss you lots. Can’t wait to see you again!” I didn’t care if I was being a bit aggressive; I was being honest. I had nothing to lose here, and I needed to get back to being more honest with myself and the guys I date.
The next morning, I woke up to my early alarm alone in my bed and immediately missed his presence. I quickly looked to my phone to see if I had a message. I did! “The pix of you on the hike turned out great! You look so handsome!” The previous night, we became Facebook friends. This wasn’t the text I was looking for, but it still made me happy.
I had a plan to go for a run that morning, and should I still have the energy, I would take a dip in the pool. I’d gone to the weight room and the pool the night before from 10:30-11:30. Even with all the guys I was spending time with, I was finding time for myself. I needed to get myself in line on this trip as well. I’d been floundering for far too long.
When I finished my run, I checked my phone, and I still didn’t have a message from The Navigator. I decided to take a dip in the hot tub to relax my muscles and take my mind off the excitement I anticipated all day. Finally, my phone lit up: “Morning! We have a call out for the next shift, so if there are no volunteers we draw straws. Keep your fingers crossed for me pal!”
My heart sank. There was no possibility he wouldn’t be joining me on the PCH until now. Now, I had to prepare myself for the idea this drive would be solo. If you recall, I HATE being alone. I don’t do well alone. I get depressed. This was one of the fears I had booking this trip, but I wanted to force myself to get used to it if I had to. I quickly responded, “Tell your boy to take one for the team. You have a hot date Fingers crossed.”
I hopped out of the hot tub and made my way back to my room to shower and get ready for my road trip. I tried not to think about an empty passenger seat until I got another text: “:( Looks like there may be a surgery… If the owner approves the estimate, then it’s no longer a choice. I’m [Dr.’s] surgery tech. Still a slim chance 
“
I was now facing the fact I would be driving alone. It was supposed to be a nice day, so I convinced myself I would be fine. It was going to be an exciting drive up the coast. I was going to go all the way up to Santa Barbara and check things out along the way. I still wanted to see him, so I asked, “What time would you be done ish?”
He didn’t answer me immediately. After I packed my bags, I got another text: “I’m gonna stop dragging my heels. Everyone is looking to me. UGH!!! It’s another full shift, but then I have the next day and a half off. So, I’ll be off at 5:30.” I could accept that, but I asked, “Can I see you then?” He immediately responded, “I’ll hurry home as soon as I can… yes!”
I told him I was packing up the car and about to hit the road. “I’ll aim to be back in the area around 5:30. Let me know closer to then what’s up… Maybe we’ll just meet somewhere since I don’t have to come back to the hotel. Sad I’m not spending the day with you, but I understand completely… Looking forward to this evening!” I added. With that, I hopped in the car and made my way to Porto’s Bakery for an amazing Cuban Medianoche sandwich that was incredibly difficult to eat in the car, a chocolate croissant and an iced mocha latte. If you even happen to be in Glendale, check this place out. It’s amazing!
I drove all the way up the coast taking in all the sights. At one point, Highway 1 cuts inland. I wasn’t paying attention, and I ended up in the middle of the orange groves and strawberry patches. I watched the motorcycle gangs as I passed them with envy. I would have killed to have my motorcycle out there. I get out of the care until I reached Santa Barbara. I pulled up to the beach and stood up for the first time in a few hours. I stretched out and broke out my camera to snap some pictures. It was a gorgeous area, and all I could think about was living there. I could move to LA, marry an amazing man, and we could retire to Santa Barbara. That’s when my thoughts jumped right back to The Navigator.
“Santa Barbara misses you,” I texted him. I was still disappointed he wasn’t with me, but I wasn’t going to let it ruin my drive. I had a sick convertible, no real timetable, and the freedom to do whatever I wanted. The ride up did allow me some clarity. I cleared my head of all the thoughts of the past. Everything was forward-looking.
After I had my fill of Santa Barbara, I made my way inland to Ojai. I’d always wanted to check it out since I seen Brothers and Sisters. The family business was there and it always looked gorgeous on-screen. I climbed up one side of winding mountains and down the other. I pulled off the side of the road a few times to take in the beauty of it all and snap some pictures for posterity.
When I arrived down into Ojai proper, I was shocked by how small town it was. I was out in rural farmland. It didn’t quite feel like home because the geography was very different from home, but it was very nice to see this side of the West Coast. I called my parents to tell them I was searching for Nora (a character on Brothers and Sisters), and they both laughed at me. They’d forgotten I was out there for work/vacation, and they expressed their jealousy. I thought about my new friend as well, texting, “Ojai misses you too.” Finally, he responded. I knew he was busy working, so I was surprised to get a response. “What’s Ojai? Pic?” he asked. When I told him, he added, “I miss you ” I was swooning a little bit.
I told him I was on my way back to LA and asked where he worked. He told me the name of the street, and I added, “Maybe I should meet you there. Then I’m not venturing that far from the airport.” He’d forgotten I had to catch a flight. I told him it would just mean more time we would get to spend together.
As I passed through Santa Monica, I reached out to him once again: “What’s the plan Stan? At Venice Beach. Was gonna drive down to Marina Del Ray… Could come out there and let me take you out to dinner.” I waited a long time to hear from him again. I even stopped at a Starbucks so I could park the car and walk around a bit. I ordered a coffee and walked out onto the pier in Venice Beach to take some pictures of the ocean. I still had a lot of time to kill, so I sat in the Starbucks charging my laptop while I wrote a blog entry.
Then I got a text from him I wish I’d never read: “Hey pal. I think I’m gonna have to skip hanging out. I’m exhausted. I just want to sleep. I hate to do that to you. I know you’ve been waiting. I’m not even gonna drive home. Gonna sleep at a coworkers place a couple blocks away. Didn’t really get to sleep before the shifts started. I had an amazing time with you and would love it if we stayed in touch. Hope you have a safe flight home and maybe I can come visit you in Jersey (hint hint) Muah handsome… Thanks for everything ” I was heartbroken. All I could think to respond was, “Wish I at least got to say goodbye.” He quickly shot back, “I know. Me too… I’m just very tired.”
This wasn’t good enough for me. “Let me know if I can at least come and say goodbye. If not, it’s cool…” I sent in an attempt to strike and emotional chord. When I got no response, I called him – No answer.
He texted back, “Still at work. Can text, but not talk. I’ll call you at 5:30 handsome.” I would have to be patient. I know my usual aggressive style, so I tried to curb that bad habit. When the clock reached 5:45, I called him again — No answer. I texted him again, “I have the time to kill. I could come and say bye and you go to sleep. I get it if you’re too tired to hang.” More time passed, and I still didn’t hear from him. I was emotionally beginning to panic. I knew the time to say goodbye was going to come, and I tried to prepare myself for it. But, to not have that at all rocked me a little.
Now, I was grasping at straws. I changed course and sped back to downtown LA. I called him over and over again while I weaved in and out of cars. Maybe if I wasn’t so locked in on one thing, I would have realized I could actually deal with LA traffic with the skills I was exercising.
In a last stitch effort, I texted, “In the middle of LA hoping I can come say goodbye before I go to the airport. Please call.” Silence. He’d gone dark on me. I was so disappointed in him. I thought we shared something special. I wanted him as a friend, and he was abandoning me. I was being very selfish, but so was he. I admitted defeat and gave up:
“Heading to airport. Sorry. I wasn’t trying to make a big deal about it. Just wanted to give a proper goodbye, even if just for two minutes. Get some rest. Def stay in touch. Hope I made a good friend on this trip! You’re a great guy! You have a place to stay any time you want to visit New Jersey/New York! Would love it if you called tomorrow when you wake up! Stay sexy!”
He never called. When I got home, he never Facebook messaged me either. I was very disappointed. I wasn’t giving in that easily though. I texted him days later to see if he’d truly cut me off completely: “Hey stud. How’s it going? Just wanted to say hi.” I was happy to see a response some time later: “Hey Sorry I didn’t say goodbye. I’m not very good at that type of thing. I know it wasn’t very nice. I had a wonderful time with you though. How is everything?”
We continued to text each other periodically over time. He even called me one day, but I missed his call. I hope I have a true friend in him. He really is a great guy, and if I can’t have him as my own, I’ll take him as a friend. I look forward to the day I can see him again. Maybe work will send me out there again. Maybe he’ll come to New Jersey for a visit. Maybe I’ll make a true pleasure trip out there and see him on my own. Who knows???
Follow @onegayatatimeSo When Are You Moving Back to New York?
Posted by One Gay at a Time in Gay Dating on April 9, 2012
Finally, work sent me somewhere fun, and I was taking full advantage. I stayed out in LA, managed to have some fun, and even managed to find myself a pretty great guy, The Navigator, to hit up the beach with. After swinging by his apartment, we agreed we weren’t done hanging out.
We made our way back to my hotel. After we turned off his street, I came to a stoplight. I took the opportunity to reach over and put my hand on his leg. He immediately responded positively to my advances. He reached down and laid his hand on top of mine and gave it a squeeze. We continued to hold hands the entire way back to the hotel.
We made our way to the room, and when we arrived, we quickly got comfortable with each other. We dropped our bags and laid down on the bed. We chatted a bit before he reached over, pulled me in, and we exchanged a long deep passionate kiss. When we finally came back up for air, I said to him, “I’ve been waiting to do that all day long!” He smiled from ear to ear and pulled me right back in for another deep kiss. He was a great kisser — Not just a good kisser, but a great kisser.
Was there anything wrong with this guy? He certainly wasn’t going to make leaving easy on me. I still had to keep myself in check. This thing would have an end. I couldn’t grow too attached, or I would be in for a world of pain.
The thing I liked most about the chemistry between us was how playful we were. There was no drama. We were just having fun. Everything was so easy. We cuddled and talked and tickled and joked. I felt incredibly comfortable with him. We just seemed to be on the same page about everything. He was certainly giving me hope that I could find a guy out there who I just clicked with right off the bat.
All day long, he had been texting with his friend giving him updates on our “date” as he so-called it on the beach. While we laid there he teased his friend about how good-looking I was, but lied and told him I’d just dropped him off at home while I listened on speaker phone. The exchange between the three of us was very comical and flirtatious. He showed me pictures of the guy we were talking to, and we sent pictures of me to his friend. We all had a good laugh, and his friend asked for continued updates.
The kissing slowly turned into making out. The making out evolved into heavy petting. The heavy petting became stripping. The stripping led to oral pleasures. And finally, the oral pleasures led to me learning he is versatile, which of course led to penetration. My provisions weren’t presumptuous at all. I suspect he noticed my condom/lube purchase at CVS, and this is what gave him the courage to propose going back to my hotel room.
The sex wasn’t the most amazing because I was having difficulties with the condom, but it certainly wasn’t bad. We were passionately enjoying each other on many levels.
After we had sex, we laid next to each other talking more. We attempted to take some pictures together to send his friend, but we couldn’t keep our eyes open because the flash was too bright. After our romp in the sheets and copious amounts of cuddling, I was hungry. I remembered an In-and-Out burger down the street. It was 1am, and they were one of the few places still open, so we got dressed and made our way there to grab dinner.
We took our food back to the room and had a picnic in my bed. We talked and made plans to go hiking the following day. The whole night, all I could think about was how crazy it was I even met him. It was even crazier how we both dove in headfirst. He even mentioned being worried I might be a serial killer for the first couple of minutes in the car. After we finished eating, I jokingly confirmed he was staying. He went to his bag and got changed and broke out his toothbrush. It seems he may have been presumptuous as well in packing his bag.
I didn’t care one bit. I was thrilled to be sharing my bed with such a great man. I only wished it was for a longer-term basis…
Follow @onegayatatimeValentine’s Letdown
Posted by One Gay at a Time in Gay Dating on March 27, 2012
Valentine’s Day had arrived. I managed to find myself single once again. I have yet to celebrate a Valentine’s Day. The one year it came while I was dating Broadway, we couldn’t be together because I got shipped off for work to the Midwest.
I ended my intense weeklong relationship with PR just the night before. I knew it was bad form to stick to our plans to go out for a romantic evening if I was just going to be faking it.
Just because I wasn’t going out for a romantic dinner doesn’t mean I wasn’t looking forward to the company of a man. For some unknown reason, I was exceptionally horny that day. Granted this has become the norm, and I’m starting to wonder if I may have a problem. However, I wasn’t stopping myself from exploring possibilities that day. I was single and ready to mingle.
I was all over Grindr and even pulled up the OKCupid app to see who was around my area. When this produced little results, I began to filter through all my previous Grindr, Adam4dam.com, OKCupid, and Manhunt contacts to see if there maybe something I missed or someone I wanted to revisit.
I messaged a few guys and asked what they were up to. The ones who I hadn’t spoken to in quite a while I asked how they’d been since we last spoke.
One guy hit me up on Grindr. I was pretty horny, so I wasn’t being picky. He was just offering to come over and give me a blowj*b. I at the very least had a fallback. I was really looking to get it in, but I would settle for him if no candidates produced themselves.
I wasn’t happy with who I was becoming. Once again, I was letting myself get out of control. I needed to reign in my sex life, but that day, I just wanted to get it in. Tomorrow is another day.
I started chatting with the guy I’d gone on an awkward date with. We’d already talked about trying to figure something out about getting together again. I could tell he was more interested in sex than a relationship, but there was also still a glimmer of hope there for something to bud. I don’t claim to be a pro in the bedroom, but I do think, based on previous feedback, I am pretty damn good between the sheets. Maybe I could win him over that way.
We went back and forth for some time about him coming over. He wanted to go to the gym and hadn’t left work yet. Apparently I didn’t give him enough notice, but I could tell he was very interested. We talked about the logistics, and I made some great progress imploring him to come over. He told me he’d try to get his errands done and then he’d be in touch.
In the meantime, I had the blowjob on hold. I told him I had some work to do, and I would get back to him. He wasn’t thrilled, but he accepted my proposal of postponement. I told him I’d reach out to him as soon as I finished my work.
Finally, I got a text message. It appeared we were going to have our “second date” after all. He was wrapping up a few things and then he’d be over. He informed me he was bringing his c*ckring and poppers. I told him that was fine, but I wouldn’t be partaking in the poppers.
I immediately hopped in the shower to clean up, shave and prep for his arrival. I also opened a bottle of wine so we could relax before just jumping in the sack. I wanted to seduce him a little.
When he arrived, he was slightly awkward. I poured him a glass of wine and we sat on the couch chatting and drinking. When I felt the moment was right, I made a move. I was all but on his lap kissing him. And that’s when I learned why he was still single.
He was the worst kisser I’d ever been with. I thought he was going to eat my face. All that time I spent staring longingly at his lips, and that’s how he chose to use them. It was a very sad Valentine’s Day. I tried to soldier on past it. I tried to lead him and make-do the best I could.
Finally, I stood up to take a break, took him by the hand and led him to my bedroom. We slowly undressed each other. I was enjoying peeling his clothes off one by one. As I did, I was groping his entire body. He had a very sexy body and great skin. I couldn’t stop feeling him up.
Warning: The following may be too graphic for some. We laid head to toe and began orally pleasing each other. Eventually, he stopped to put on his c*ckring and grab his poppers from his jeans pocket.
When he came back to the bed, I began orally pleasing his bottom. He had a great a$s and manscaped very well. I was enjoying myself, but it didn’t seem I was doing the best job for him. That’s when I learned he doesn’t really get anything out of it, he told me apologetically. I didn’t understand because long ago he told me he was a bottom. I also recalled how much stimulation he got from his nipples, so I concentrated on them. He went wild.
A short time later, we laid next to each other stimulating ourselves. It didn’t take long before I finished all over his chest per his request. For once it didn’t take me forever to climax. As soon as I finished, he too exploded on his chest.
After giving him a towel and we both cleaned up, we laid next to each other in bed. I wanted to cuddle, but he didn’t seem the type to I just put my hand on his inner thigh. We chatted about the most random things. He was staring at my bookcase, and we talked about some of the books on the shelf. I pointed out my only gay book on the shelf, Beaches. It’s a picture book I like to page through periodically. He told me all the gay books on his bookshelf deal with barebacking. A huge red flag went off in my brain! Was he into barebacking? I didn’t ask him to elaborate, but I wish I did.
That’s when I hopped on his back and began to give him a massage. I have very large and very strong hands. I like to put them to good use. Apparently he was a little more delicate that I anticipated. He asked me to lighten up a bit, but he was enjoying what I was doing. I noticed how he analyzed everything. He really was a headshrinker.
When I stopped, he started inspecting my skin. I recalled on our date how he wished he was a dermatologist. He was very complimentary of my skin and complexion. I appreciated the compliment, but the delivery was incredibly awkward. He was not an easygoing guy, and I started to realize how little I was attracted to him. On top of that, I was starting to get an irritation on my neck from where he was trying to eat it. I knew then this would not be a repeat offender.
With that, he got dressed, collected his things, and we said goodbye at the door. He left very unceremoniously. I had no plans to reach out to him again after that. We’d had such a long history, making it weird, but we’d only really known each other a short while. He too had no plans to reach out to me.
Ironically enough, he messaged me on Grindr the other night, but of course this went nowhere.
Now, the only question is when and if I unfriend him on Facebook and what are the consequences?
Follow @onegayatatimeMy Week with PR
Posted by One Gay at a Time in Gay Dating on March 23, 2012
Things between PR and I seemed to be something of a fairy tale. We’d met months earlier on Grindr after he had a very rough breakup, and I was just getting my relationship off the ground with Smiles. He temporarily moved a few blocks from me, and after a night out as friends, we’ve been spending a lot of time together as love interests.
After our night out to the movies and dinner, PR spent the night once again. Why should he sleep on a pull-out when he could be sharing a California King with me. I got ready for work, and he made his way home to figure out his day. He was on-call that day, but ended up not having to go into work. Instead, he went shopping with his mother.
When he returned to Hoboken Wednesday night, he came over to hang out. We watched TV in each other’s arms on the couch and he spent the night once again. Things were getting hot and heavy with us, and fast. We still hadn’t had “sex’ in the traditional penetration sense of the word, but we were fully enjoying each other’s company.
Thursday night I have volleyball. This was good because it offered a natural break for us. I couldn’t believe he wasn’t tired of me yet. We’d been spending A LOT of time together, and I’m not always the easiest to be around. I was happy to have the time apart – Not because I didn’t want to see him, but more so because it made me look forward to seeing him again that much more.
When I got home from volleyball, he started texting me. We texted about the shows we were watching until he added, “So, I miss you.” I quickly replied, “Stop being so adorable. You know I can’t resist it!” And then he called it spot on. I love how real and upfront he is about things. “Is today resist each other day? If you need a break, I understand. I find you intoxicating in the best sense — Like happy,” he texted. I told him I did not need a break, and I in fact did miss him. But I also told him I wanted to make sure we didn’t tire of each other. He told me he was having a rough day. He heard back about a job he applied for and was told he didn’t get the position. I felt really bad that was the night we decided to spend apart. I’m sure he just needed a hug. He was depressed. I told him. “I can try to hug it away.” He asked if we could hang out the following night. I told him I had no plans and would love to.
When he stopped responding to my texts, I joked, “Replaced me with pizza?” He apologized since his pizza was delivered, and he added, “Food won’t comfort me as much as you.” And with a smile on my face, I dozed off for the night.
The next night, he came over. I made dinner for us both, and we watched movies. It was nice to have someone to spend my evenings with. This is what I really wanted in a relationship. This is what I was looking for. I was happy!
When we woke the next day, I made us breakfast. He spent the afternoon with me, and we finally motivated ourselves to hit the gym. He went home and changed while I showered. We met at the corner and walked to the gym together. He was very quiet and solemn that morning. We didn’t work out together, but that’s because I like to do my own thing at the gym. We finished at the same time and walked home together.
That’s when he dropped a small bomb on me. He told me he was moving back home. I didn’t quite know how to take the news. I wasn’t thrilled with it. It meant he would be much further away, and we wouldn’t be spending evenings together so readily. I knew why he did it, and I realized he needed to get his life back on track. But, I selfishly didn’t like the idea.
That evening I had a bunch of friends come over to pregame before hitting up my friend’s birthday gathering at a bar a block away. He met many of my friends and seemed to fit in, but I still had the idea of him moving home in the back of my mind. When the time came, we all made our way to the bar. It was a fun night, but PR was being standoffish. He wasn’t mingling with my friends and was only talking to me a majority of the night. I was a little disappointed. On top of this, he was getting pretty inebriated and flirtatious. I’m comfortable with my sexuality, but I don’t like PDA in a “straight” bar. I feel all eyes on me, and it hinders me from enjoying myself. Nothing he was doing crossed the line, but it also was edging further and further.
By the time we moved to a friend’s bar (after hours) he was being overt. Granted it was a much more exclusive group and mainly my friends, but he was drunk and making me uncomfortable. I tried to just look past it.
Once again, we went to Cluck U to get a late-night snack. He was so drunk he couldn’t stay awake long enough to eat his. I carried him to my bed and tucked him in. He wasn’t happy because he wanted his chicken, but soon enough he dozed off. I put it in the fridge until the following day. I wasn’t resentful at all of this. I actually enjoyed taking care of him. I knew if our relationship continued, he’d be doing the same for me down the road. I sat in the living room and ate my chicken with the company of my thoughts. I had a lot on my mind since he told me he’d be moving back home. The news he didn’t get the position he applied for was a little unsettling as well. On top of this, there was the incompatibility we shared in the bedroom that hadn’t been resolved. This wasn’t the stability I was searching for, but I was still enjoying his company.
When I had my fill, I tucked myself in bed in quickly dozed off.
The next day, we woke, and he continued to give me $hit for not allowing him to eat his chicken the night before. He ate it for lunch instead.
We got dressed and ready for the day finally. I needed to go grocery shopping, so we walked to Garden of Eden together. His mother was coming in an hour to take him home. It was a bittersweet day. We’d spent more than a week straight together with the exception of one day. Things progressed quickly, but then again, they were about to change drastically.
I said goodbye to him as we made plans for the coming days. We were a few days away from Valentine’s Day, and he really wanted to celebrate it together. I obliged.
I thought about him the rest of the night and what this new arrangement would mean for us. I was quickly coming back down from the clouds…
Follow @onegayatatimeMy California King
Posted by One Gay at a Time in Gay Dating on March 22, 2012
Things were going well for PR and I. He was turning out to be a great guy.
He’d been out with my friends and fit in. We’d had fun in the bedroom, and living room for that matter. I still had yet to meet any of his friends, but so far I was liking where things were going.
One evening after work, we made plans to finally go see The Woman in Black in the city. We both shared an interest in horror/scary movies, so I agreed. It sounded like a nice date too. I was sure it would involve some intimate hand holding in the theater and a nice night on the town for us.
I stayed at work killing time by writing a few blog posts until the time came to go to the movies. We agreed to meet in midtown by the PATH station and walk to the theater together. I didn’t hear from him for quite some time. It was getting very close to showtime, and I was getting annoyed. Why wasn’t he answering me? We were going to miss the movie.
Finally, I got a call from him. I met him on the street after learning he’d already started walking towards the theater. When I met him, I informed him we missed the movie. We needed to go to a different theater or find somewhere to grab a bite before the next showtime. He was very apologetic, but I was okay with everything. I didn’t have a schedule for the evening. I was just happy to be spending it with him.
We altered our plans and started walking to the theater on 42nd street. This would work out well because we could just hop on the bus at Port Authority to head back to Hoboken after the movie.
PR tried to pay for my ticket, which I thought was very sweet of him, especially since he was just working part-time until he found a full-time position. I thanked him for offering as I put my own credit card into the ticket vending machine to buy my own ticket. He tried to fight me, but it was no use.
We grabbed a big bag of popcorn and sodas and found our seats. I enjoyed holding his hand or rubbing his arm while we watched the movie. He was an affectionate guy like me. I liked that we were a match in that department. I was falling for him pretty fast, and we were spending a lot of time together over a short period of time.
The movie was decent. I don’t know that I would have picked it, but I was entertained and was happy to be out with PR.
We decided to grab dinner back in Hoboken. PR had only lived there a short period of time. He was anxious to get a lay of the land, so I suggested a few places we could hit up along the way. We settled on It’s Greek to Me and rode the bus through the Lincoln Tunnel. We hopped off the bus at our stop and went into a convenient store to grab a bottle of wine to take to the restaurant.
We sat at a table and decided on our meals. I insisted he try my favorite appetizer there, saganaki cheese. It was perfect with the wine we bought. I was really enjoying a casual night with him. The conversation was so relaxed and easy. We’d already gotten well past the awkward date stage. I was happy to just sit there with him at times, not even talking.
After we split the bill, we made our way home. We chatted more while we walked, and when we got to the intersection between our apartments, he was ready to say goodbye. I questioned him, and asked, “Aren’t you going to spend the night?” He replied immediately, “Do you want me to?” To which I confirmed and pulled him towards my apartment immediately. He asked if my roommates were home, but I told him that wouldn’t matter. They were cool and had people over all the time. He had no worries.
He’d forgotten to call his sisters to wish them a happy birthday, so he made a few phone calls to them while I answered a few emails and checked up on the blog. We relaxed on the couch for a little bit before making moves to the bedroom to go to bed. We watched Archer and Chelsea Lately in bed together, and laughed at all the same parts. It was nice to just sit and watch TV with a man.
When a commercial break came, I asked him what his “roommate” thought about him not being home all the time lately. “I told him I’m sleeping in a cute guy’s California King bed,” he quipped. I laughed and joked with him: “Is that all I am to you — A comfy bed?” He laughed and kissed me to show the contrary. Shortly thereafter, we dozed off and went to bed.
When my alarm went off in the morning to get ready for work, I looked back to the bed and smiled. I was happy to be waking up next to him. Of course I hopped back into bed and started to get a little frisky, but that wouldn’t make me late for work. I planned ahead and set the alarm a few minutes early.
I always leave room for play time…
Follow @onegayatatimeAt the ripe age of 26, I came to a life changing conclusion. I'm GAY!
It took me 26 years to realize this, come to terms with it and admit it to myself, but it's been the best decision of my life.
This blog is about my dating life in NYC and what happens next...
